I've been there and I've done that!

I have seen several posts across the web about atheism from the perspective of a theist or Christian believer. Looking at and analyzing their so called idea of "logic" I have to say that it is laughable at best despite the fact that I feel a certain pity at the same time. I pity them because at one point in my life I too was blinded by faith and trapped in a delusion which I thought was the most reasonable position to take.

In those days back in 1990 I never questioned my faith, and in fact just the thought of doing so struck a genuine fear in my heart. People who don't know me nor have ever taken the time to read about my journey from Christianity to atheism make a lot of assumptions about me that are entirely unfounded. They don't understand how I now claim that there is no god and that the bible is definitely not inspired by him or his word. They accuse me of being an absolutist which is partially correct simply because I have taken the journey.

I once believed every single word of the bible as being god breathed (inspired) and I took the authors at their word that they had been instruments of this god to convey his word to mankind. But upon backward reflection I have come to realize that in those days I never questioned what I believed. I just accepted it along with some subjective experiences that at that time served as confirmation of the truth of what I was hearing.

I often make a distinction between atheists that were former believers and those that have never had a belief in god. I am as adamant now as an atheist as I was as a theist with the only difference being that my position seems more probable and is based on the lack of evidence for the opposite position. Naturalism explains the world much better than any unfounded mythical belief system can ever hope to achieve.

I take being called an atheist evangelist as an insult because quite frankly I don't think that such a thing exists. I hate when a Christian accuses me of trying to "convert" theist to atheism. Anyone making that assertion is simply demonstrating their immense ignorance as to what the word atheist really means and stands for. I wasn't converted to atheism by anyone and I did not read any books to get me where I am right now.

My own curiosity set me off on the search for truth even if that search led me to places I didn't really want to go to. The only book that led me to atheism was the so called 'Holy Bible' itself. I read about Gods' treatment of man and even recognized in the language of the scriptures the language of racism, slavery, and bondage. I began to see god not as some loving being who cared for the needs of every living person on this planet. I saw a god who was no different than a slave trader from the Southern U.S. states when slavery was at its peak.

The blacks were considered a different species entirely, they were called niggers, and it was believed that god made them to be slaves and to serve the so called righteous. It is a known fact that many slave traders and owners were professing themselves to being Christians and they used the bible to justify their god given right to own slaves. Today we look at those people with disdain and disgust at what they have done during one of the darkest periods of U.S. history.

But if you took the time  to read the bible from cover to cover you will see this same language sprinkled throughout the scriptures. God speaks of himself as the Lord of all, he can create and destroy as he wills and its okay due to who people believe him to be. This is what is called special pleading and is also considered a double standard. If the biblical god were a man we would consider him a monster based on what we have read about him in the bible. In fact, we already have done so when it comes to the case of Adolf Hitler. But the biblical deity's acts as portrayed in the bible make Hitler's acts seem like child's play.

Why is it that just because we accept god as creator of all things great and small that we assume that that makes him exempt from committing crimes against humanity? Why do we insist on calling this monster good? Why do we call this beast loving? Are we insane or have we forgotten what that means from a human perspective?

I share my experiences because although I think that my blog will not make converts for atheism which is not its intended goal, but that through my experiences I can help others who are going through the same things I have.

I call myself an atheist because I've done my research and have experienced theism to its fullest. I have come to the conclusion that there will never be anyone who can prove or disprove conclusively the existence of god. But I demand evidence and here is my greatest dilemma. Subjective experiences, the healing of psychosomatic disorders through prayer, or the coincidental apparent answer to prayer is not evidence. Those are all subjective experiences which in my opinion with careful reflection can be easily debunked and explained naturally.

I was told by a theist once that when I stopped blogging that he would stop criticizing my work. I told him that I would stop blogging when I'm dead. This blog is not for me, I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone. I am simply sharing experiences that I think  may help others who are going through what I once had gone through myself.

The journey to freedom from superstition is not a journey that is forced on anyone and it is not something that you can convince someone to take. It has to come from within that individual to question what they believe. To step back and look at what they believe with fresh eyes and to be willing to follow the evidence wherever it may lead them. Some may go back to theism, but others like myself will be too appalled at what they find that even if this god were later revealed to be real I personally would rather rot in hell then bow down to this tyrant!