Sunday, August 23, 2015


I always try to blog in a non-combative tone when it comes to religious beliefs and Christianity specifically. It was not always this way but if you read some of my earlier posts to those I have written lately you can see a definite maturation as you progress. I started this blog mostly as a means to share my knowledge and experience as a former believer with theists and atheists alike. I have been at times angry and emotional and have been dragged into personal attacks and verbal confrontations with those theists that opposed my views. But that is usually what happens when one has a lot of emotional baggage. I have since let go of all that baggage and have decided to critique religious beliefs from a more logical standpoint. I hope to continue doing so as this blog continues to grow.

I have often stated that in order to be a good Christian one had to also be one hell of a hypocrite. Although I admit that this statement does come off as offensive and seems quite combative I hope that I can make clear my position in this post. Let's start with a biblical citation and then we can go from there.

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Luke 6:35

Oftentimes the bible admonishes that one should love their enemies and basically overcome evil by doing good. Yet, this is not what we are seeing out of today's believers. I personally think that calling us enemies because we do not share your religious views and opinions is ludicrous since I personally have nothing against a Christian or what he or she chooses to believe in. I lost an online friend today because she took offense to the saying: "Prayer: how to do nothing and still think you're helping." From this she stated that if I didn't like Christians that I didn't like her and unfriended me and blocked me so that I was unable to respond. 

I treat all people equally and everyone as an individual regardless or race, creed, or color. I don't care really what you believe but I also feel that you have the right to believe and express those beliefs openly. My question to theists is why don't you allow others to do the same? Why do you insist that as nonbelievers whether it be as an atheist agnostic or some other religious group do you demand that we keep those beliefs to ourselves? 

I feel that I have the same rights as you to express my non-belief in those same tenets you hold dear. The difference is that I don't go knocking on peoples doors, stand on corners condemning society and everyone to hell who does not believe as I do. I don't hand out tracts on the street and claim that what I am presenting is the only and absolute truth and salvation of mankind as we know it. Theists believe wrongly of course, that they have know what knowledge, truth, and facts really are. The amazing thing is that they don't have a shred of credible evidence to support their extraordinary claims! 

While the bible say's that you should love your enemies it basically classifies enemies as those that don't believe as you do. Basically, as an atheist I am an enemy of Christianity, Christians, and the church in general. No wonder theists are so sensitive and combative when their beliefs are brought to question and are scrutinized by nonbelievers. 

The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good.  Psalm 14:1

You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
  James 4:4

It is verses like these that in my opinion causes theists to view the world as against them. Anyone who doesn't share in their beliefs is considered by theistic and bible standards as the enemy. By telling everyone how to live, think, and feel you are basically acting in an unreasonable and dictatorial manner. This is where the hypocrisy comes in. You condemn the many for basically those same things you do. There are many Christians living in adultery, fornication, who masturbate and even engage in secret gay relationships. They think bad thoughts about others and even wish the worst for those that they view as an enemy. 

The good news is that in doing those and many other acts that are not harmful to society you are just being human. Contrary to what your bible says looking at a woman or vice versa and desiring them in a sexual way is not a crime nor is it a moral offense because these are just thoughts and secret fantasies you keep to yourself. When you act on those thoughts in a harmful manner such as rape or sexual harassment then it becomes a problem that can easily lead to criminal behavior. 

I call you a hypocrite not as an offense but rather as a statement of fact. You present this image of being holier than thou and point the finger at others as if they were inferior because of their lack of belief. But in doing so you are the ones who are doing the persecuting and not the other way around. I for instance don't care about gay marriage nor even see it as an issue. I believe that people should live their lives as they see fit and find whatever it is that makes them happy. If that means having a loving and meaningful relationship with someone of the same sex then so be it. I don't see stem cell research as a problem, Nor view the practice of religion as a problem either. I have a very strict live and let live policy. As long as your actions are not harming anyone then it's all good for me. 

But don't tell me that you love me in Jesus name or that you want to save my soul and then come back and reject my friendship because I reject your faith. If that is not a hypocrite then I don't know what is.

1.a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. 
2.a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements. 
Note: All biblical citations are taken from the NIV version of the scriptures. The definitions of the word hypocrite are derived from

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Fear the Lord

And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul,        Deuteronomy 10:12

"See now that I myself am he! There is no god besides me. I put to death and I bring to life, I have wounded and I will heal, and no one can deliver out of my hand.      Deuteronomy 32:39

From my former position as a leader in one of the most fundamentalist Pentecostal churches of our day I can attest to the power of fear in a religious context. As a believer I interpreted the many feelings and emotions that I experienced as the working of the Holy Spirit within me. It was these experiences that served as evidence and confirmation to me that my god was real, alive, and all powerful. I saw the world in black and white: on the one hand there was God the representative of all that was good and Satan the representative of all that was evil in the world. We were just caught in the struggle.

From 1990-1994 I ran a ministry that consisted of preaching on the streets on Saturdays and Sundays and preaching at church and revivals by invitation. I even got the chance once to preach on a Hispanic Christian radio station. My specialty was what was known as liberation or exorcism. I dealt often with so called demon possessed individuals and often found myself casting those demons out in Jesus name. I did not realize nor had any doubts at the time that there were actual explanations for these so called manifestations of demonic possession: deep indoctrination, mental illness, and high suggestibility just to name a few.

It was this power that I thought I possessed and had that convinced me beyond any shadow of a doubt that the Christian god was the one and only true god. It was this same power that built in me a deep and palpable fear that I could no so easily describe. I loved the Lord with all my heart, mind, and soul and had committed myself entirely to his service and what I believed at the time to be his will; to save and liberate as many souls from damnation and bring them into God's saving grace. 

It was this same fear that kept me bound to those superstitions and prevented me from secretly or even openly questioning those beliefs. When I first began to have doubts I simply saw it as one of Satan's many attempts to lead me astray. You see, like the title of Carl Sagan's famous book states I truly was living in a demon haunted world. When I did confide to my pastor and some elders of the church my feelings of doubt I was given ominous warnings about the consequences of leaving the faith.

20If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and are overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. 21It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them.
 2 Peter 2:20-21

My idea of hell in those day was a fiery place of eternal torment and because of my fear of hell I also developed an intense fear of death. I was always burdened with thoughts of my life as a believer being good enough to warrant the rewards of heaven. I was always concerned with pleasing God and living in a way I believed that he approved both in my private and public life. Like a child trying to please his dad I was always looking for ways to stand out and make the good Lord proud of how I used his gifts and sought to fulfill what I thought was his will and mission for my life.

In the end it took me six years to overcome those deeply ingrained fears that I carried. I was an emotional wreck for most of those years and as paranoid as anyone wondering when Satan would pounce on me and steal my life and eternal salvation. I had very realistic nightmares of demonic attacks known as hallucinatory sleep paralysis where I would find myself frozen in fear and felt a presence holding me down to my bed. I heard menacing voices threatening me as I struggled to break free. My mind could not distinguish this nightmare from reality and so I woke up breathless and with my heart pounding out of my chest.

I have come to the conclusion that the deeper the indoctrination the harder it will be to break free from the clutches of the many irrational fears and superstitious baggage that religious beliefs brings. It is my hope that by sharing my experiences and knowledge on how I broke free that I can continue to help others to do the same.

Note: All biblical citations used in this post are from the New International Version of the scriptures.

Friday, August 14, 2015

God is irrelevant

Today I recieved an email from a follower of my blog on prophesying and how it is done. This letter made me reflect on my own experiences in the ministry. It is hard for me to believe that it has been 21 years since I have escaped the mental prison of my former beliefs. It has been 21 years since I finally overcame the fear of a nonexistent tyrannical God and his imaginary hell. I can honestly say today that the greatest burden in this life that I have had to bear was the burden of ignorance  that I once believed with all my heart and mind.

I gave my life and entire being to Jesus and lived to the best of my ability what I taught and preached about. My biggest struggle as a believer was dealing with being a 21 year old evangelist for four years and never having a girlfriend or engaging in sexual activity. I had done so previously before I was a believer, but upon accepting Jesus in my life I became aware that fornication (sex out of wed lock) was a sin. For four years I struggled with my desire to have a God fearing wife and a family but also my desires of the flesh for sex was high on the list as well.

I tried to live my life according to a literal interpretation of what the N.T. said. I walked in awe and revered the Lord and loved him to the fullest. I feared him because of how great I believed him to be and how powerful he was. I believed that I was alive and chosen only by his grace to carry out the mission of bringing the "lost" to Christ. I studied and read my bible daily and carried it around with me at all times; even to work! I meditated on the Lord and his word day and night and often mentally talked (prayed) with him.

When I first began to have doubts about my beliefs I suffered great emotional distress because I thought I was being manipulated or mislead by Satan and his cohorts. He was in my mind the first one to blame for my initial doubts. But then as I read the scriptures more and more I began to notice many inconsistencies with how the church should be run and how it was run. I began to first question the order of the church and then the use of the gifts of the Spirit.

Those initial doubts were the hardest to overcome. but nothing was harder than overcoming the fear itself. I was terrified when I began to doubt and I can't even begin to recall how often I had to ask God for forgiveness for having a certain thought cross my mind. It took me six years to overcome that fear, but the one thing that helped me was the seeking of knowledge.

When I got my nerve up I began to study the process of how our bible came to be. It was a very enlightening process and it led me to believe that there was no divine author or guidance needed; it was entirely the work of several authors who for the most part were anonymous. I then began to question doctrine and to research how I was able to do or demonstrate the power of God in the form of apparent miraculous acts. I found an explanation for every last one of them. Once I broke free from the fear. I felt the chains of ignorance fall from my mind and I saw a whole new world upen up before me.

I will never ever go back to any religion. Especially, any religion that requires that I give up my mind and reason and my ability to logically think and analyze all things. I refuse to bow down to celestial tyrants that in my view are no better than the worst of men. I refuse to believe without question or live a life that is radically opposed to human nature. I hope that I may be able to continue to help others that are facing what I once faced. Stay tuned to this blog because I intend to resume writing on this and many other important matters.