Sunday, September 5, 2010

From Christian to Atheist Pt. 7

After having officially left the church I still did not consider myself an atheist, my search for God had ended but now I was on a completely different mission. I now had to find logical explanations for the various experiences I had as an evangelist and had witnessed in my ministry. So I started from what I thought was the most logical place, I began reading books on psychiatry and psychology. That later led me into studying traditions and mythology and eventually I ended up trying to explain each and every experience that at one time I had deemed supernatural. I had a lot of questions and needed answers so I began to read as objectively as possible everything I could get my hands on that would help me explain away (debunk) most of what I had seen as an evangelist.

I learned about the placebo effect and psycho-somatic disorders and began to apply what I had learned to the many so called people who at one time or another testified to being healed from some ailment through my ministry. I learned about hypnosis and how it was used to help people with addictions and also suppressed memories etc. The more I learned the more my former religious beliefs were becoming irrelevant and exposed for the sham that they really were. I look at religious beliefs now as something silly and foolish. People worshiping a deity that they have no evidence exists whatsoever just does not make any sense to me now, I actually feel pity for those people that I find today that are still trapped in those superstitions.

Traditions die hard and religious beliefs have been around as far back as man would allow himself to remember, religious beliefs have grown and evolved and continue to do so even today. Christianity and Islam have not evolved much in my opinion, the only thing that has evolved is the way the various believers of said religions interpret what they believe. The bible has been translated from its original languages to so many other languages and has in and of itself gotten lost in translation, every group or culture now interpret it according to how they view their world and society. Like Christianity, Islam is just an offshoot of the old Hebrew religions. All religions are influenced by the cultural beliefs of where they originated from. Have you ever noticed how in the middle east the women for instance are second class citizens? How the O.T. makes the woman be created out of man and therefore is supposed to be subject and obedient to man?

Every bad thing that our world could do without is contained in the bible, there is racism in that the Hebrews/Jews are supposedly Gods chosen people. The so called salvation that we as gentiles have obtained is as a result of the Hebrews rejecting Jesus as their messiah. Jesus stated clearly that he had come for the lost sheep of Israel in Matthew 15:24 the gentiles (anyone who was not a Jew) was oftentimes called a dog or a swine in the scriptures. As anyone reading the book of Matthew might be able to see by reading chapter 15 Jesus referred to a Canaanite woman as a dog and when she pleaded that even dogs eat from the crumbs of the masters table he was moved and did as she asked.

I found out that this biblical God was many things I did not want to be and that I felt were in fact detrimental to any society. He was a racist, a sexist, a homophobe, a tyrant, and as evil as any man in history that I can think of. I eventually compared God to Hitler because I saw many similarities between the two that were just undeniable to anyone who would dare to analyze them both objectively without having his/her mind clouded with superstition and fear. The biblical god was a murderer and a self absorbed prick, I would rather go to hell if that place existed before ever subjecting myself to the service of a tyrant.


  1. I think, silly beliefs arrive from deep seated psychosis that is planted in our minds at an early age. I remember when I was around 5 or 6 years old, how disappointed I was to discover my dad placing our xmas gifts under the xmas tree in the dark, around 12 midnight, it took the fun out of xmas for me, I wanted so much for Santa to be real, but then I realized I had been lied to and I felt like a fool for wishing for something that could not possibly have been real.

    I felt squashed from my belief in Santa, from that point on, I was skeptical about things my relatives told me especially about the tooth fairy, the easter bunny and religion because it taught me to be wary of outrageous claims.

    I tested every thing in my mind about what is plausible, could their claims provide evidence or bring forward truth?

    And then I heard them preach faith, the carrot that moves christianity forward, faith the catalyst for things that are wished and longed for, the eternal hope for things that cannot possibly be real.

    Christianity, the psychotic hoax that was invented to manipulate how people feel and think in order to control them and to steal their money, while being disguised as goodness and as absolute truth.

  2. It is always good to hear from you my friend, I completely agree with your view on Christianity. One big lie to control and manipulate the masses with the intent on gaining power through politics and establishing a theocracy as they eventually did. Today religion is one of the worlds most lucrative businesses, because it exploits the gullibility of its adherents. Taking their money through such practices as tithing and giving monetary as well as properties as offerings. Christianity has made many a con artist rich.

  3. Well said Steven Bently!
    "undeniable to anyone who would dare to analyze them both objectively without having his/her mind clouded with superstition and fear" - that is a beautifully lucid statement Chatpilot!
    I can't sleep tonight until I've finished reading your blog! I am definitely a fan :)

  4. Hi Chat, this is josh. I am enjoying reading a lot of this, very interesting. There is one thing though, about Matthew chapter 15, the Holy Bible says Jesus was upset that the woman gave to the dogs what belonged to the children. Maybe you have another translation. Like you have stated, there are so many translations. I am still unsure, but am at the point where, even if God is real, there is no way I could love him. I feel betrayed, big time. One question, do you think people reap what they sow? personally, I don't see the consistancy in that. Some times we do, sometimes we do not. Have a good day sir.

  5. Hi Josh, I'm glad you are continuing to enjoy my blog and my views and perspectives on the bible and Christianity in general.

    Regarding Matthew 15:22-28 Jesus after having received the request from the Canaanite woman to heal her daughter from what appeared to be some sort of demonic oppression or possession: he refused basically because she was not a Jew. He made the statement that he had only come for the lost sheep of the House of Israel.

    He referred to his word or his blessings as the bread and to the woman as a dog. But her reply moved him to respond to her request and healed her daughter because of her faith. In her case at that time he basically made an exception.

  6. I was very deeply religious when I was a young child. At school, I was the kid who was singled out to be bullied, so I was very shy and withdrawn. One day on the playground, I saw a younger child, who was the handicapped sister of a bully, fall down. I heard "god" say, "Pick her up." When one receives a directive from "god," one follows it. I shoved aside my fear and lifted the child back to her feet. Then her bullying sister came over and gave me a tongue lashing about how now one was supposed to lend the child a hand, that she had to be left to help herself. How does one explain, "I did it because God told me to?" I just walked away.

    I never heard "god" that way again, but throughout my childhood and teen years, I did sometimes have other aural hallucinations, usually just thinking I heard someone say my name, and so on.

    I always assumed that such aural hallucinations are common to everyone, but very few people whom I have asked have confirmed that they have had them. Perhaps they just don't remember.

    1. I've had similar experiences myself when I was in the ministry. It's not as uncommon in the Pentecostal faith to have these experiences.