The one thing I can say about my Christian experience was that at the time I wholeheartedly believed everything I learned and preached about, I was one hundred percent honest and sure of my convictions as a believer. Towards the last year of my ministry it seemed that almost every time I met a so called prophet of the Lord whether it was at a church gathering or while visiting another church of the same denomination they would always tell me that God wanted me to start praying for the sick. I was asked repeatably by many about why I was holding back since it was obvious that God had given me the gift of divine healing. I at times would go to church and when they would pray for me at the altar they would anoint my hands with oil and time and again proclaim that I had the gift of healing. People that have heard me preach at my home church and at other churches I had preached at would claim healings to which I never had any evidence of. Even as a believer I was very skeptical when it came to the topic of faith healing.
It was ironic that this was going on in my life because when I would be at home late at night in the solitude of my room, I would be on bended knee praying to God and telling him that I was willing to do anything for him including die if need be. But the one thing I would not and could not do in good conscience was involve myself in faith healing and implementing that into my ministry. You might say I was being rebellious but the truth is that I did not want to be associated with the many charlatans in the field of faith healing, I did not want to be counted among the scam artists out there such as Benny Hinn, R.W. Shambach, Robert Tilton, Morris Cerullo, and the list goes on and on. I was serious about my service to the Lord, my ministry for the Lord meant everything to me.
I was not one to jump for joy when someone I did not know would climb the altar to testify how God had healed him/ her from Aids or some other mortal disease or ailment and I felt I was right by doing so. In fact I had the bible scripture to back me up regarding this matter: 18And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him.19Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee. Mark 5:18,19 This tale tells of a man possessed of a legion of demons who lived in the tombs and would constantly hurt himself and run around howling and acting like a mad man, but when he saw Jesus he approached him and the Lord cast the demons out of him. Notice when he was healed he wanted to follow Jesus but instead Jesus told him to go to home and to his friends for the sole purpose of them seeing what God had done for him.
Simply put, if I did not know you your testimony was worthless to me unless you had adequate evidence that you were in fact at the advance stages of Aids. Evidence to me in those days would have been detailed medical records of your diagnosis from beginning to end, maybe some pics of yourself with all the tell tale signs of the disease such as purple spots and being extremely skinny and ill. But as far as your word goes it meant squat to me, since I knew that there were so many out there trying to make a name for themselves in the church with the ultimate goal being to use that as an impetus to prosperity.
I actually knew a man in our church who died from a hernia!! He was afraid to get surgery for it and so it ballooned out of proportion and popped, the whole time when he was asked about it he claimed that he knew God would heal him. As a result of his illness he did not smell to good either, but all in all he was a good man. He made a living selling hot dogs and lived alone. Many have died awaiting a miracle or believing that they have received one from some charlatan preacher telling them that they were healed.My own step father almost died from angina a couple of years earlier because my ministry partner prayed for him and told him to throw away his heart medication that God had healed him. Luckily for him my mother held onto his meds, he only lasted three days before he had to take them again. Faith healing should be labeled faith killing and now as then I despise the practice of it and pity those that fall prey to its lies that may lead to even death.