If I were God

To start off the reason I have decided to do this post is to point out my issue with so called divinely inspired texts. I have come to the conclusion that no such a thing exists for reasons which I plan to address in this article. Every religion based on sacred ancient texts and fairy tales claim to have "the truth" and insist that their texts are either inspired by God through human authors (the Bible), dictated to illiterate prophets and written down by scribes (Koran), or some other miraculous means.

The first problem I have with any written text claiming to be in some way a revelation from God or the gods is that I find it quite peculiar how these gods always tend to favor the race that they choose to reveal themselves to. In the case of the Old Testament it was the Jews that were God's chosen people, in the New Testament the same god extends his salvation to the gentiles (non-Jews), and in the Koran it's the Muslim's. This applies to all the gods of every nation that man has invented for himself. The bottom line is that they can't all be true and thus they can't all be inspired by God or gods of any kind.

"It is a contradiction in terms and ideas, to call anything a revelation that comes to us at second-hand, either verbally or in writing. Revelation is necessarily limited to the first communication- after this, it is only an account of something which that person says was a revelation made to him; and though he may find himself obliged to believe it, it cannot be incumbent on me to believe it in the same manner; for it was not a revelation made to me, and I have only his word for it that it was made to him."
Thomas Paine:The Age of Reason

The second problem I have with the worlds so called sacred or divinely inspired texts is that they all seem to favor the culture or race of peoples from which the myths are derived (this makes the gods look like racists). All these gods are in the case of the ancient Hebrews and others tribal and nationalistic gods. A study of comparative religion will confirm this truth and expose once and for all the true origin of these man made myths.

The third problem I have with so called sacred texts is that languages both verbal and written evolve and change constantly. Ancient Hebrew for instance or ancient Arabic are not written or even spoken the same today as they were even 2,000 years ago. That is the first problem, the second is that languages don't translate well into other languages and in translating a text often times the original texts loses its original meaning. You don't have to be a linguistics expert to notice this. If you are bilingual or are fluent in multiple languages you will attest to the fact that some words in one language just don't translate well into other languages. The third problem is that aside from issues with translating ancient texts you have the problem of human error in translation or even intentional human editing or emending a text to conform to his own personal beliefs. Keep in mind that in those days there were no copy machines. All texts were copied by scribes and were done so by hand.

"It is only in the CREATION that all our ideas and conceptions of a word of God can unite. The Creation speaketh an universal language, independently of human speech or human language, multiplied and various as they may be. It is an ever-existing original, which every man can read. It cannot be forged; it cannot be counterfeited; it cannot be lost; it cannot be altered; it cannot be suppressed. It does not depend upon the will of man whether it shall be published or not; it publishes itself from one end of the earth to the other. It preaches to all nations and to all worlds; and this word of God reveals to man all that is necessary for man to know of God."
Thomas Paine: 'The Age of Reason'

My fourth problem with so called ancient texts is that they teach us nothing new. If I were God I would speak plainly about the universe and the world. If I were omniscient I would know that people would be asking about these things later. Today's so called scholars (apologists) tend to read into obscure ancient texts modern scientific discoveries that have nothing to do with the text itself, and then have the audacity to say that that is evidence that God has spoken through revealing something that could not possibly have been known at that time. Nice try, but no cigar! The reality is that science has shamed these so called holy texts time and time again and it is only through deceit and cleverly devised reinterpretation  that they have managed to survive to this day.

The fact that all ancient texts were written by man initially, since God personally never wrote a thing, is in my mind testimony against them being divinely inspired. Although the Bible does say that God wrote his commandments and the covenant on two stone tablets with his finger (Deuteronomy 10:3-5); these tablets along with the ark of the covenant were lost forever. How convenient! It reminds me of the tablets that Moroni allegedly gave to Joseph Smith. After they were translated and copied and became the Book of Mormon the angel conveniently took them back to heaven with him!

My fifth and final problem with all these so called divinely inspired texts is that the gods have so many damn names. In the Bible God's names are related to his attributes and they are many, don't you think that all this does is cause confusion? When we look and compare other religions to one another his names could go into the thousands.

Now here is what I would do if I were a god, divine being, creator of the heavens and the earth and everything that dwelleth therein. The first thing that I would do is not pick any representatives of the human race or any race in particular to be my chosen people. That's just being a racist and I hate racists and racism altogether. The next thing that I would do is write the damn thing myself and address every nation in their own native tongue that way there would be no need for translation. I would write in such a way that everyone could understand my words and I would speak plainly and clearly in my text. No poetry, parables, allegories, or any other bullshit that apologists like to use to make sense of the nonsense they call the inspired word of God.

Every nation would have a hard copy of this text for posterity sake. But I would make it so that this same book would be hardwired into a person the moment that they are born. My word would be in their minds and they will be conscious of my wishes. I will let them know how to address me and how to worship me. I personally wouldn't require worship but just for arguments sake let's play along. I will be very active in my creation in that I would not permit sin to corrupt the perfect world I have made. As in the garden of Eden man would be able to talk to me directly and I would listen and help him in any way that I could. I would be a good god and would treat my creation with respect and not degrade them. I would love them and care for them as I would care for my own child if I were a human. My word would truly be inerrant to the point that even the hard copies of my word would be unalterable and indestructible.

If I were God man would know who I am and that I am there for them in time of need or guidance. Suffering would not be permitted and people would love and treat one another the same way I treat them. They would praise me not in worship but as a sign of their gratitude. And they would love me not out of fear but out of genuine love only earned from those who give love in equal or greater measure. I wouldn't be hidden and I would not require that most heinous device of deception I like to call faith.

Note: Thomas Paine was a deist but his views on organized religion were very accurate and express my own thoughts and sentiments on the matter.

Deism: Deism is the recognition of a universal creative force greater than that demonstrated by mankind, supported by personal observation of laws and designs in nature and the universe, perpetuated and validated by the innate ability of human reason coupled with the rejection of claims made by individuals and organized religions of having received special divine revelation.