Contrary to what some of the readers of my blog may believe, I did not discard my beliefs because of my disillusion with my particular religious sect (Pentecostalism). It wasn't the pastor or the rest of the congregation or what this or that person did or how they conducted themselves towards me. My disillusion began when I first sat down and decided to read the Bible in its entirety.
When I read the bible for the first time I was literally disgusted that I had unknowingly submitted my life and devotion to what I believed was a benevolent deity. The O.T. deity was not the God I thought I loved and worshiped and who at the time I thought loved and looked after me with an even greater love than I could ever imagine. It has been my experience that man has demonstrated more morality throughout our existence than the biblical god has.
You would think that the Hebrews would try to put their god in a more favorable light, but instead they have created a monster who is to be feared and worshiped unconditionally. We are supposed to be forever thankful for his having created us and given us life, we are supposed to remind him through worship how grateful we are for his mercy etc. It's akin to someone lending you money in a time of need and expecting you to thank him for it even after you have paid him back on a daily basis. Not only that, he must remind you to thank him and make sure that you never forget his generosity!
It was not the church or the religion, but rather the testimony of the scriptures regarding this god. It was the crimes against humanity, the complete annihilation of entire races and the usurping of their lands in order to give it to the Hebrews. On some occasions men, women, children, not even the animals or livestock were spared the wrath of God. He punished them for worshiping false gods but he never presented himself to them. Here are some of the great things that the bible contains: fratricide, incest, polygamy, mass murder, ritual killing, massacres, genocide, slavery, etc.
The worst criminals in human history can't hold a candle to the biblical God! Mao and Hitler put together couldn't match the evil and ferocity of the biblical deity. It has been my opinion that if God were a human he would be tried and executed for crimes against humanity. Christians who don't read the bible are given the watered down version and even when they are shown some of God's acts of cruelty they are convinced that the victims brought it on themselves! If God were real then all he had to do was make himself known to mankind through every generation in such a way that his existence would never be in question. But instead the fictional deity only exists on the pages of some ancient texts and the heart and minds of those fools who choose to believe in them as being his word or revelation without learning more about the texts themselves.
I personally despise all religions that require man to debase himself and grovel on the ground to some invisible vainglorious deity that requires worship and praise under the threat of eternal damnation, and through the use and manipulation and fear.
In summation my position is simple: I do not accept the existence of a biblical God or any other gods, the fact that the origins of religious beliefs are rooted in ancient fears of the unknown through the creation of myths and superstitions is telling. I see gods as the creations of man and not the other way around, and feel that the God of the Bible not only does not exist but his existence in and of itself is an impossibility that stands outside the realms of reason. I don't differentiate the biblical deity from all the other thousands of deities that man has created for himself the world over. Basically, if you've seen one myth you've pretty much seen them all.
I honestly don't understand how anyone could read the bible in its entirety and come to the conclusion that God is love. The Jesus tale in the N.T. was an offshoot of the old and anyone who had read both would immediately recognize that it was written in order to make Judaism more palatable to foreigners also known as gentiles in the scriptures. They dropped some of the older Jewish traditions and made the gentiles also acceptable to God through the fictional story of the sacrifice of Christ on Calvary.