Saturday, January 25, 2014

On seeking God

9“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Luke 11:9-10

Often when I find myself confronted by fundamentalist Christians I am often told that If I seek God with an open mind that he would make himself known to me. Today I found myself reflecting on this claim and wondering if after all these years of being an atheist, if maybe somewhere deep down inside I am still seeking. Let me explain: since I left the church in 94' I have always held an interest in Christianity and the idea of God. Today all I read are books on Christianity, comparative religion, science and other things related to beliefs. 

The verse I have cited Luke 11:9-10 is interesting to me because I felt that that is exactly what I did. I sought God at one time with an open mind in spirit and in truth as is prescribed in the scriptures. I devoted four years of my life preaching the gospel and ministering to the masses. Subjectively speaking I had found God. I felt his presence every waking moment of every day, I heard him guide me in my head in my own voice, I lived entirely dependent upon his guidance for my life. I looked for signs in my daily life of his approval and confirmation of his will and plan for my life. I never thought to question my beliefs nor did I dare. 

"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Matthew 10:37

I can honestly say that in those days I loved the Lord more than life itself and was willing to die for what I believed in. I prayed not just on my knees at designated times but also all day long I spoke to the Lord in my mind. I asked for guidance and strength to resist temptation and I prayed for my fellow man that he may come to the knowledge of Jesus Christ my savior and Lord. I thought of the biblical God as the ultimate father figure. All powerful, all wise, and all knowing and trusted in him with all my heart.  I had dreams of Jesus and visions of Christ I felt the surge of the Holy Spirit within me when I prayed to myself or for others. I believed that I was anointed with various gifts of the Spirit and thought I was helping people with my prayers. 

In those days nothing mattered to me more than to live a life that I thought was pleasing to the Lord. In the scriptures obedience is key and it was hard work to try and stay on the right track in my daily walk. But I can honestly say that I loved the Lord more than life itself. I find it insulting when a theist states that I was not a real Christian or that I did not truly seek the Lord. I felt that I went above and beyond what many calling themselves Christians today could ever imagine. But my experience as a fundamentalist believer taught me some things that many atheists could never comprehend unless they have had a similar experience like mine. I learned that in the end its all in the mind. 

When you read the Bible as I did as a theist and then as a nonbeliever I noticed a huge difference. When reading as a theist I read it with reverence and fear I took every word to heart and believed that in doing so I was edifying my spirit. I did not notice many things that would have made me question my beliefs at the time. It wasn't till I read the Bible objectively as an outsider that I began to see the barbarity in its verses. I no longer saw a loving father figure deity but a morally bankrupt monster and murderer of the human faculty of the mind and destroyer of the human spirit. 

Reading the Bible objectively is an eye opening experience. I began to question the actions of God against humanity. I began to try and work out better solutions to genocide and mass murder and I found that God's motives for these actions were petty and unwarranted. God demands obedience, love, and submission. All three  of these qualities do not point to the idea of a loving god but rather reflect the actions of a communistic dictator and a tyrant. I find it ironic when I hear theists state that communists were for the most part atheist. Atheism is not an ideology so whether they were or not is irrelevant. The God of the bible acts just like a human tyrant reminiscent of Hitler, Mao, or Papa doc. 

This God of the Bible is a racist, a misogynist, he endorses slavery, the death penalty for the most minor infractions, etc. This is not a god to be loved but rather to be feared he is not a father unless you classify him as an abusive father. He is manipulating, controlling, and oppressive. He condemns the search for knowledge, truth, and objectivity. I have sought God; but in the end what I found was a monster. 

Note: All biblical citations are from the New International Version of the scriptures.

13 comments:

  1. "With an open mind", what they mean is read it as the truth. That is not with an open mind. Starting with a conclusion before looking at the evidence is about as far from an open mind as one can get.

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    1. Christians as well as other theists are caught in the circular reasoning loop which is in and of itself as you stated a logical fallacy.

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  2. Well said, I have have the same feeling when I read religious texts. Its as if the whole idea is to justify things that people could not understand at the time, and they needed something to clarify what happened. What is disheartening is that there are still fundamentalists that say god was not wrong in the murders and genocides committed either by him or in his name.

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    1. Some of the reasoning I have heard behind this is that God is not subject to our laws or morals. To theists he is the ultimate good and the ultimate judge. We as his creation are in no position to judge him.

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  3. The NIV has no unicorns.

    I think that statement stands on its own.

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    1. The NIV translates unicorns as young wild ox but what does the fact that the NIV does not use the word unicorns have to do with the other comments on this post? Sorry, I don't get it.

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  4. I personally do not see how you snapped out of the religious curse. I have tried to bring reason into my family, but they will not hear of it, it's as if they are under a psychotic religious trance, not to mention the many televangelists with all the money being sent to them see it as a personal blessing from god and the buybull say's a rich man cannot enter into the kingdom of god.

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  5. I identify with your experience. When I read the bible as a believer and a minister I could easily discount the atrocities because I would tell myself I don't get that part now but knowing my Lord and Savior one day I would. It was easy then to push off cognitive dissonance, but in time when the rubber hit the road in life it just got way too hard to keep it out.

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  6. It wasn't easy ex-minister1 and it took me six years to completely break the spell. The fear of God was the last thing to go and my beliefs were so deeply imbedded in me that I was afraid of dying without Jesus in my life. The threat of hell hung over my head the entire time.

    Steven, some people come around and others will just die with their superstitions. Breaking the religious spell is a personal choice and journey and no amount of convincing will do it for any single person. To my knowledge I am the only one in my entire family to be bold enough to be an atheist.

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    1. You really need to read more books about science, my friend. Can you tell me how the Earth was created from nothing? Even a law in science says that it is impossible to create something from nothing. How did the Earth come to existence, my friend? Big-Bang Theory is wrong as it says that an explosion came from nothing.

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    2. You really need to read more books about science, my friend. Can you tell me how the Earth was created from nothing? Even a law in science says that it is impossible to create something from nothing. How did the Earth come to existence, my friend? Big-Bang Theory is wrong as it says that an explosion came from nothing.

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    3. You really need to read more books about science my friend. Can you say that the universe came from nothing? "The universe came from nothing", that's what the atheists believe.

      First, lets start with the creation of the universe.

      "It is impossible to create something from nothing", this is a PROVEN law in science. The scientists DO say that the universe was nothing. Big-Bang theory is still just a theory as nothing cannot create something.

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    4. I posted your comment three times for one reason; because I saw that you were trying to clarify a ridiculous idea. I'll bite and gladly play along with your line of thinking because it would be an insult to call it reasoning.

      If nothing can come from nothing then where did God come from? If we accept that this "creator" god exists then who or what is he or it? If you claim that god always existed then you have already strayed from the path of reason into the illogical assumptions you yourself claim are wrong and ridiculous.

      Even if the big bang was wrong jumping to the conclusion that god did it is not a reasonable conclusion but rather a leap of faith. Faith that is not based on evidence is nothing more than an assumption.

      There is a lot being discovered about "nothing" as it refers to cosmology and the origins of the universe. You should try reading 'A Universe From Nothing" by Lawrence Krauss or watch his lectures on youtube if you are too lazy to read. Apologetics and pseudoscience are not reliable sources for scientific research. Thanks for your comments.

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