Fear is the driving force of Christianity

4“I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. 5But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. Luke 12:5-6 (NIV)

As a former believer I have heard many theists try to rationalize fear as nothing more than respect as opposed to what we actually mean by the word fear. When I read the above cited text I don't see it as a the inspiring words of a loving and compassionate god. I see this verse as a direct threat to my supposed eternal state based on this nonsensical belief system. It clearly makes an analogy between actual physical death and so called spiritual death also defined as eternal separation from God. Further reading would lead you to believe that along with separation from God also includes some form of eternal torture. 

Fear of hell was the most difficult thing for me to overcome as a believer. Once I started having doubts about the veracity of the Bible and my faith system (Pentecostal), I began to search for truth with genuine fear in my heart. I constantly thought to myself "what would happen if I die right now without Jesus?" That idea horrified me at the time. 

Without exaggeration it took me literally about 6 years to completely overcome my fear of hell and my doubts regarding the veracity of the scriptures and the existence of God himself. It is ironic that the bible says that you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. Because it was the truth that set me free from the mental and emotional chains of religious beliefs. 

On Christian hypocrisy

Let's start with Matthew 7:12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (NIV)

    Now as far as I am concerned this is a pretty good and practical commandment. But, apparently Christians seem to have trouble either comprehending it or even applying it to their daily lives. Christians in general are not content to live and let live. This is especially true of fundamentalist believers. The ones who insist that this is a Christian nation founded on Christian principles. 

    I myself was a former fundamentalist Pentecostal believer from 1990-94' and held many of the same beliefs. But one thing I never did was force my beliefs on others. I simply told people about Jesus and God's plan of salvation as I understood it and gave them the opportunity to accept it. If they didn't I just went on about my business and kept them in my prayers. I never threatened anyone or tried to intimidate them into believing with the idea of hell and eternal punishment. 

    As an atheist I don't really care what other people believe. I am only concerned when those beliefs infringe on my right to live freely as I choose. I don't have problems with gays or abortions, or any other issue that theists want to defend basing themselves not on facts but on their own interpretation of their god's commandments. 

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Galatians 6:7 (NIV)

    Christians love to judge but they don't like it when it comes back to them in kind. They love to reap discord and bigotry but can't take the heat when they have it returned to them. They start claiming that they are being persecuted or discriminated against. They even go as far as saying that their right to practice their religion is being taken away! Because creationism is not taught in public schools they claim that they are being oppressed by the scientific community. They want equal time to teach their doctrines and beliefs in a secular classroom. 

    it is time to put these people in their place! This world is the way it is and everyone has their own beliefs or lack of beliefs and it is none of your business! If anything you are the true oppressors in our society. You think that the world has to bend to your will and that the rest of us should be forced to do so. Whatever happened to free will? I choose not to believe in your gods nor follow your religions. I don't think that there is enough evidence to warrant me bowing the knee and lowering my head in obeisance to your imaginary guy in the sky. 

    Christians, it is time to come down from your high horse and stop being hypocrites! Stop acting like you live in another plane high above the rest of us. What you call sin is nothing more than human nature in most instances. Stop making excuses for your flaws by claiming that God knows that you are a sinner and weak and imperfect. The only way that one could be a Christian, a Jew, or a Muslim is by being a hypocrite and a liar to themselves. Stop living a lie and come down to Earth with the rest of us.

    

My path to atheism

     From 1990 to 94' I was a Pentecostal evangelist. I preached the gospel of Jesus Christ on the streets on the weekends and was often invited to preach in local churches in Brooklyn, NY where I used to reside. I gave my entire life to the the Lord and tried my best to live up to what I believed were his standards at the time. During my time as a believer I had read the Bible from cover to cover four times and even read it in Spanish once. I was a fundamentalist believer which basically means I was also a literalist. The Bible was inerrant and one hundred percent true. No matter what anyone had to say about it. 

    Although I was completely devoted to my beliefs I had always been studious and curious about other belief systems.; especially those I encountered often on the streets. But I was not content to read books written by pastors of my faith about them so I often went to the sources themselves to obtain materials about what they believed. I have read Dianetics, The Book of Mormon, and several source materials by the Jehovah's Witnesses. I have always had this nagging question in the back of my mind regarding faith: "With so many religions in the world how can we know that ours is the right one?" 

    Aside from the growing seeds of doubt that began to fester in my mind after having read the Bible it was actually a series of events that eventually led me to abandon my faith altogether. I was studying my churches Bible seminary to eventually become a full fledged and ordained minister. Two things happened that turned me off about my church and put another chink in the armor of my beliefs. The first event was at the seminary. Often we had tests regarding subjects we had learned and our grades in those tests were a part of our overall grades at the end of the year. We had one student who was highly regarded amongst the church clergy because he dressed the part. He was often sitting on the altar with the clergy although he did not preach or play any part in the service. 

    That man who was so highly regarded by the clergy was also a cheater. We were often left alone during test time since they trusted us as Christian believers to be honest and do the right thing. But this particular brother in the faith often wrote down all the answers to the test in his palm or on a separate piece of paper and as soon as the instructor would leave he would pull it out and do the test. He was shameless and not even try to conceal it from the rest of us. Needless to say when we as a group got together and told the instructor what he was doing the instructor told us not to worry about it that we should leave it in the hands of God! The man went on to graduate that year with honors and got the best student of the year award which should have been mine. 

    The straw that broke the camels back for me was when we were about to enter a chapter in our text book about human evolution. I must admit that I read it a few times and was somewhat familiar with the subject so I was quite excited all week looking forward to discuss this in class. When the day finally arrived the instructor opened the book and turned to the chapter and mockingly said " if you want to believe that you came from a monkey then go right ahead. All I know for sure is that I am a child of God!" Everyone in the class yelled out amen! and the chapter was skipped and we went on to the next chapter. I was infuriated and from that moment on decided for myself that I would read everything Darwin wrote and any other books I could get at the time about human evolution. Needless to say it was the nail in the coffin of my faith. 

    

There simply is no God!

    I love to watch debates online about religion and atheism. But it never ceases to amaze me that we (atheists) allow theists to start from a presupposition that they have yet to prove. In reasoning it is always stated that the one making the positive claim bears the burden of proving his/her case. Theists always start from the presupposition that their god exists. But they are never challenged to first prove that he does. 

    I have been an atheist for about 21 years and have read a prolific lists of books and viewed many debates and have yet found one argument for the existence of God that was anywhere close to valid evidence for what it claims to support. I dare say that all arguments for the existence of God rely entirely on flawed arguments and flimsy evidence that doesn't even fit the claim. 

    One example is the so called watch in the sand argument. It basically states that if you are walking along the beach and come across a watch in the sand you can see that it was obviously not natural but made. theists take this analogy further and apply it to the world and its apparent design which if that was the case, definitely requires a designer therefore God exists! There are so many problems with this argument that I don't even know where to begin. First of all we know that a watch was manufactured by man and on its own it was manufactured for a purpose; to keep track of time. If I found a watch in the sand I would simply assume that someone lost it. 

    Next, how could you compare an inorganic manmade object to what I like to call the living universe? We may not know the exact details about how organic matter came to be, but we don't just assume that it was the result of one of the many myths man has created for himself to explain those things in the world that he does not have an adequate explanation for. Theists look for design in the universe and the world and they seem to find it. But the fact of the matter is that if you are going to accept that there are things in that world that are designed then how are you to account for all the random things that exists? How are you to explain that all living organisms rely on other living organisms for their very survival? 

    The so called evil in the world in all of its categories such as natural disasters, birth defects, child deaths, etc. all count as evidence against the existence of a personal and loving creator. What purpose is there in a good loving couple not being able to have children? Or its opposite of a drug abuser or mentally ill woman having children she later ends up murdering? Where is God in all this? Missing in action. 

    Using a god of the gaps argument for all those things that we can't currently explain does not a logical argument make. I am fine with not knowing. The beauty of science and learning is the enormous feeling of discovery. The challenge of finding rational explanations or solutions to some of the universes most perplexing and complex mysteries. Saying God did it is nothing more than a cop out in my opinion. If God did it then you must explain who or what god is and where did it come from. If you can't do that then you have your work cut out for you. I will be writing more on these issues and would love to hear what you think.

It's all subjective! Really?

 This is my first post in a long time. I have taken a break from writing about my atheism and lack of belief because quite frankly it was getting boring. But since 1994 when I first walked away from my beliefs and began my quest for discovery and truths beyond my faith I can honestly say that I still remain an atheist. 

  It is crazy that after all these years and all that I have studied, read, and learned about religion, atheism, science, philosophy, etc. I often come across nonbelieving scholars who like myself at one point in their life were believers. They not only walked away from the faith but began delving deeper into their own faiths and ended up being nonbelievers despite all of their efforts to give their beliefs a fair shot at being proven true and substantiated by evidence rather than by blind faith. 

  It never ceases to amaze me that many of my fellow former believers who are professional scholars in biblical studies, apologetics, etc. have come to the very same conclusions that I have. The only difference being that all I did initially was read the King James Version of the Bible cover to cover. The more I read the more my confidence and certainty grew in believing that I was right to walk away. 

  My former beliefs touched every aspect of my life and I was fully dedicated and devoted to sharing those beliefs with as many people as I possibly could in this lifetime. I was crushed beyond words when I came to the realization that all of my beliefs did not hold water when they were put under the microscope for closer scrutiny. I cast my fears aside in search of confirmation and instead found the lack of evidence overwhelming. 

  I gave the biblical god a chance and he failed miserably. Maybe he is hidden dear believer because he simply doesn't exist. Could this be the reason for faith? For believing without seeing which Jesus is made to praise in the book of John chapter 20 verse 29: "Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

  Any so called spiritual experience or claim that cannot be proven empirically or objectively is invalid from a rational perspective simply because it cannot be proven true or falsified by any natural means or scientific methods. It therefore remains nothing more than a claim and a subjective experience unique to the one who claims to have experienced it. So I guess that in the end when it comes to religious beliefs of a supernatural nature it is all subjective after all.  

  

I have no use for god beliefs

Back in 1990-1994 when I was a Christian Pentecostal evangelist I was of the mindset that no one could live without Jesus in their lives.  I was convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that in each and every one of us there was a yearning deep inside emanating from our spirits to seek out and worship God. In those days I thought it was impossible to be happy without Jesus no matter how well you were doing in life. I believed that there would be an empty space that could only be filled with the Holy Spirit and continuous and ongoing fellowship with God through Christ. In short; God was the (raison d'être) reason for being.

Today after being an atheist for over 20 years I have found that nothing could be further from the truth. I am happy and find my life fulfilling. I have a good job that I love and a two daughters I adore who have made me a proud grandfather as well. I live, love, laugh, and do all the things that everyone else does without a shred of guilt for having a good time. I no longer fear the coming of Christ, nor the wrath of God, nor eternal torments in the flames of hell.

All these years as an atheist have taught me that your reason for being is not mystical or magical but rather quite mundane in fact. You see, your reason for being is whatever is important to you in this life now. Setting goals and striving to obtain those goals and desires for whatever reasons you feel the need to do so.

I love reading and educating my mind, the movies, documentaries, sciences, philosophy, and ancient and modern history. Even though I am an atheist I still love studying religion and comparative religion. These things and many  others bring me joy in this life. I find pleasure in playing with my grand children and Being the best father and grandpa that I could be.

A young man at work while conversing with me brought out the fact that I was an atheist. He as I myself would have done so in the past found it unbelievable that I did not believe in God.  He asked me "if you don't believe in God who do you think woke you up this morning?"  I responded that I did. I then shocked him even more by stating that there was nothing that God could do for me that I could not do for myself. When I say I have no use for God, I mean that I have no reason to seek him or it out nor a desire to pray with him no want his so called fellowship. I find my life fulfilling on its own without a need for divine help. I am not blessed or feel that God is being merciful towards me by blessing me. I am just determined to live this life to the fullest and make the most of it while I can.

God is real!

One of the observations I have made both from my own experiences as a fundamentalist Pentecostal evangelist and those of other believers is that no matter what arguments are presented for the existence of God these arguments are never successful because of one fatal flaw: some things just never change. No matter how sophisticated they try to make their arguments from a philosophical (apologetic) or scientific (pseudoscience)  point of view they all overlook the most important aspect of those arguments: evidence.

They all begin by putting the cart before the horse so to speak. They all start with the presupposition that God exists! All of their arguments start with what should be in any inquiry the conclusion which should be reached after having studied and analyzed all of the evidence first. They rely heavily on logical fallacies that are generally easy to expose and recognize when they are presented. When it comes to the existence of God they tend to beg the question when asked if everything had a beginning then where did your God come from?

Before postulating any argument for the existence of God you must first prove that he exists. This in and of itself is a monumental task which I believe just cannot be done. Second if you are able to prove that he/she/it exists then you must prove how you know what you think you know about God's attributes and characteristics. This brings us to another problem. Most believers are not trained in philosophy, logical thinking, or science, so they have no clue what we are talking about when we say that they must prove their case.

As a believer I had no clue what was objective, subjective, or empirical evidence. As a Pentecostal believer all of my evidence was subjective. It was based on my feelings about my beliefs, my faith in the Bible, and what I believed at the time was the experience of the Holy Spirit working through me. I had been slain in the Spirit before, spoken in tongues, had visions, dreams of the divine, felt the presence of God through his spirit all around me. I believed in the power of God because I was at the forefront of a deliverance ministry and my specialty was casting out demons (exorcisms) from the oppressed and possessed.

Having had those experiences and lived a life of dedication to God in full I too was blinded by anyone who said he did not exist. Nothing could contradict my feelings, no words could convince me that my experiences weren't true or real! A fundamentalist is one because he or she has become convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have touched the divine. I often point out that I had not come to my decision to be an atheist lightly. It took six years of self doubt and fear to get me where I am today. I was truly bound and oppressed by my religious beliefs. It is because of this that logical, philosophical, and scientific arguments have little to no effect on fundamentalist believers.