Back in 1990-1994 when I was a Christian Pentecostal evangelist I was of the mindset that no one could live without Jesus in their lives. I was convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that in each and every one of us there was a yearning deep inside emanating from our spirits to seek out and worship God. In those days I thought it was impossible to be happy without Jesus no matter how well you were doing in life. I believed that there would be an empty space that could only be filled with the Holy Spirit and continuous and ongoing fellowship with God through Christ. In short; God was the (raison d'être) reason for being.
Today after being an atheist for over 20 years I have found that nothing could be further from the truth. I am happy and find my life fulfilling. I have a good job that I love and a two daughters I adore who have made me a proud grandfather as well. I live, love, laugh, and do all the things that everyone else does without a shred of guilt for having a good time. I no longer fear the coming of Christ, nor the wrath of God, nor eternal torments in the flames of hell.
All these years as an atheist have taught me that your reason for being is not mystical or magical but rather quite mundane in fact. You see, your reason for being is whatever is important to you in this life now. Setting goals and striving to obtain those goals and desires for whatever reasons you feel the need to do so.
I love reading and educating my mind, the movies, documentaries, sciences, philosophy, and ancient and modern history. Even though I am an atheist I still love studying religion and comparative religion. These things and many others bring me joy in this life. I find pleasure in playing with my grand children and Being the best father and grandpa that I could be.
A young man at work while conversing with me brought out the fact that I was an atheist. He as I myself would have done so in the past found it unbelievable that I did not believe in God. He asked me "if you don't believe in God who do you think woke you up this morning?" I responded that I did. I then shocked him even more by stating that there was nothing that God could do for me that I could not do for myself. When I say I have no use for God, I mean that I have no reason to seek him or it out nor a desire to pray with him no want his so called fellowship. I find my life fulfilling on its own without a need for divine help. I am not blessed or feel that God is being merciful towards me by blessing me. I am just determined to live this life to the fullest and make the most of it while I can.
